For a successful marriage, do this to get the best of your partner and live happily, here are what you need to do to achieve the marriage you desire
Day 1: Stand in front of the mirror and be honest with yourself.
A major part of this challenge is realizing that you have to put in the work to get results. And that means looking inward. “Making a marriage stronger begins with the conscious decision to improve yourself,” explains Geter.“This is about what you are going to do, not what your spouse needs to do.”
Geter says to stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and get real about what you want to change inside. Ask yourself what needs to shift to become stronger, better, and happier as a person. Becoming the best version of yourself will strengthen your marriage more than anything else. If you need to, make a list.
Day 2: Choose one thing about yourself to change that will make your partner happier.
By now, your partner knows who you are and what you aren’t. They know what irritates you more than anything else, how you like your coffee, and can identify that look that means “don’t talk to me right now.” And they also know what about you irritates them the most. Whatever those things are, Geter says to give them your attention and figure out if there’s something you can change, alter, or stop doing. While you (obviously!) should never completely transform who you are, if there is something that you could be doing better or differently, why not just do it?
“If you know your spouse enjoys hugs more than anything in the world, make a conscious decision to hug him 1 to 3 times daily for the next week. If he’s always complaining about caring for the pets, make the decision to take charge of daily dog walks and feedings for the next week,” Geter suggests.
In return, ask your husband to do the same. Maybe that’s taking out the trash without being asked. Or bringing you home flowers like he used to. The point is that you’re erasing the small irritations that often cause a lot of fights. “After a week, sit down and talk about what those gestures meant to each of you,” Geter says.
Day 3: Greet your partner like you do your best friend.
When you see your bestie, do you roll your eyes in their general direction, make some sort of grumble of ‘Hi’ or instantly launch into a to-do list? Probably not. And we get why: Acting overly excited to greet the same guy that you see day in and day out seems like overkill. But according to Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT, couples’ therapist, it’s worth a shot. “You may be surprised how this relatively small, new, and easy behavior steers your marriage in a different direction.”
Day 4: Talk about how your last fight would have been covered on “Law & Order.”
The difficult part about taking advice from friends or family is that they’re biased. Your mom is probably always going to think you’re the bee’s knees, and your best friends might be brave enough to tell you when you’re wrong, but maybe not. That’s why Feuerman suggests trying the ’emotional reappraisal’ technique.
